On Women, On Freedom

On Women, On Freedom

Several folks have asked me about what it is like for women in Pakistan so I'll pass along what I've learned and what I've been told, primarily by Surkhab who has no hesitancy to discuss the matter.

It's amazing how sequestered they are. Walking around town they represent perhaps 2% of the population. Small girls play "normally" in public places with other girls and boys their same age but somewhere during their teen age years, the veil comes out, the face is covered and that is the last anyone but their husbands and family will see of them until they reach old age (perhaps 50).

And their husbands are not likely to see their face until the day of their marriage, which is arranged by the families.

To the western mind this seems quite strange and it would be easy to criticize their customs as archaic and chauvinistic. But let's look at this a bit more deeply.

Because women are not displayed as they are in western countries, there is a distinct lack of the time, energy and resources western cultures spend in pursuit of them. There are no alluring ads on the billboards, no stores with sexy clothing. It seems as though the sexual desires that so occupy the western mind are much less prevalent.

Perhaps as a result, divorce and rape are virtually unknown here. And while it is true that some women are physically abused by their husbands, it does not seem to be a significant problem. This might be different in the more fundamentalist regions of Pakistan, like the Swat valley area (where the fighting is) but I would caution anyone from jumping to any conclusions until they have reliable information on the matter.

And even though men rarely see women in public, that is not to say that women have no social life. They have, in fact, a rich social life as it is their responsibility to arrange marriage, birth and death ceremonies. They visit the sick and bring them food. They have their own circles and, if the reports I get from Surkhab are accurate, they are quite happy in this arrangement.

But it is also true that women cannot pursue careers like they can in the west. Other than being a "homemaker" (a noble profession) women can be school teachers and perhaps a few other things but you will never see a female doctor, lawyer, etc.

I asked Surkhab if he was aware of women from the west coming to Pakistan and adopting to their customs. He was only aware of one instance, and she adapted quite well and has come to enjoy her new lifestyle. He was not aware of any Pakistani women who have tried to adapt to western culture.

I can only add that there is a serenity to this place that is markedly different from the us. There are no screaming kids tugging at their parents demanding this or that new toy or candy. The kids are very respectful of their parents, or any adult, and comply with whatever is asked immediately and without any fuss. Whatever else you might be inclined to say about Pakistani society, the evidence to me seems clear that it works well for them.

And now a few words about freedom. As you know, "they" (in the present case "they" are the entire Muslim world) hate us because of our freedom. While this is a phrase that has oozed from the mouths of many politicians, I have yet to see the reaction such a statement deserves (uproarious laughter and supreme contempt for any idiot who would utter such a statement and resentment of the stupidity of the audience such a statement would infer).

The ironic part is that in ordinary, daily affairs, the Pakistani people have far MORE freedom than we do in the us. Take driving for instance. Even in the bustling city of Abbottabad, there are no stop signs and no stop lights. There are no lines on the road indicating when it is legal to pass or not, in fact there are no lines on the road at all. Passing often results in 3 vehicles abreast on a road built for only 2. 3 and even 4 people ride on a motor scooter and none of them with helmets. People can make a u-turn whenever they find it convenient (or more precisely, possible) and talk on their cell phones while doing so.

And without the preemptive laws to try and make driving hazard free that we are subject to in the us, the system works just fine. I have not seen an accident yet, nor have I seen anyone get upset at anyone else's driving. People here are treated like and behave as responsible adults. Everyone is allowed to do whatever works.

Another area of freedom that is available to Pakistanis and not to us is the freedom to build a shelter that suits a family's needs and resources. While it is somewhat different in the cities, in the rural areas (which constitutes the vast majority of the country) there are no building codes and no building permits are required. Because of the material poverty prevalent in this country, this results in housing that some might deem "ramshackle". I find it far more interesting and less insulting than the ticky-tacky-all-the-same housing common in the us, but that's just my personal aesthetic.

Some folks can only afford to build the most humble of shelters. Salvaged sticks of wood with a mud roof, corrugated metal if they're lucky. But they have a place they can call home where they are protected from the worst of the elements and are not subject to the harassment of police or building officials telling them to, "move on" (to where is not specified). Those slightly less poor, or more fortunate as in the recipients of the free housing provided by Paksbab, are able to build sensible, environmentally sane housing such as the straw bale homes I've been working on. Homes such as these, which are very affordable, energy efficient, earthquake resistant and built with a carbon footprint a small fraction of that incurred by "standard" housing are either illegal or prohibitively difficult to build in most areas of the us. And because the homes these folks build are appropriate to their needs and resources, they are not burdened by a 30 year mortgage and forced to work at a job they hate so they can avoid having to sleep in the streets.

So tell me. Who really has more freedom?